Some jokes were dropped in my mail today. Here’s the funniest one. Hopefully you’ve already read some related articles before, thus you may follow it with full of laugh.
HOW TO NAME A WAR
On the morning of the first missile strikes, before his address to the
American people, the U.S. President gathered his top officials in the
BUSH: (Putting down the phone) That was my Poppy. He asked what am I
going to call our war. He had his Operation Desert Shield and Operation
CHENEY: Did he suggest anything?
BUSH: Well, since the media dubbed my presidency Bush II, Poppy thought
Operation Desert Storm II would be a perfect name. But I worry that the
liberal and left-wingers might soon resurrect Stupid Economy II !
POWELL: … And Re-Election Debacle II.
RUMSFELD: Is that a suppressed smile on your face, Colin?
CONDOLEEZA: Hold it, Rummy. We might lose another ally.
BUSH: I am thinking of something grand. I kinda like that reason we
have been recently using: Liberating the Iraqian people.
POWELL: Iraqi, sir. Not Iraqian.
BUSH: We’ll call this campaign OPERATION IRAQI LIBERATION. (slowly and
pausing) O, I, L. What do you think, Dick?
CHENEY: Well, that’s always been our objective. I mean, er, liberation.
Can we have another word not starting with ‘L’?
BUSH: You don’t like it?
CONDOLEEZA: Sir, it would be better if we do not mention OIL.
BUSH: Who said oil?
POWELL: Let’s just try another. LIBERATION is a BIG word to write in
your short speech.
RUMSFELD: I sense a tinge of sarcasm in your tone, Colin. I suggest we
call this war, OPERATION IRAQ INDEPENDENCE.
BUSH: O I I. I like that! Can we adopt it?
CONDOLEEZA: No, it spells like a French greeting.
BUSH: Is it?
RUMSFELD: Wait till you hear how they pronounce it. Funny word from
those funny old Europeans. He, he.
BUSH: (quite frustrated now) You don’t like “L”. Then two “I” are
no good. Are there enough letters left? Okay, give me another letter,
Condoleeza. This acronym business sure is tough work. Dick, make sure our
education policy will help our school children match letters beautifully
than we do now. We should not misunderestimate young American’s
capacity to … Ahhhh …..
COLIN: … play scrabble. Sir, try “H”. It comes before “I” in the
alphabet. You don’t need to search farther.
RUMSFELD: There is more to what you are saying, Mr. Diplomat.
CHENEY: OPERATION IRAQ …. What? There are few big “H” words in the
BUSH: Is that right, Dick? Oh yes. “H” is a favorite. Like HERBERT, my
father’s middle name. Let me think. HERBERT, HEAVEN (winks at his
audience), HELP (raises his thumbs up) ..HARKEN … HALLIBURTON. Those are
the only “H” words I can recall now. Give me another letter.
POWELL: “F” for Freedom, as in the word formerly known as French.
RUMSFELD: Are you trying to be funny now, Colin?
CHENEY: There. Use it. Can we now proceed to your address?
BUSH: But I live here, Dick. You’re not supposed to be here. The
President and the Vice President should be at different places at critical
times. What does the Secret Service say about that? Anyway, let’s go and
name this war. OPERATION IRAQIAN FREEDOM.
CONDOLEEZA: IRAQI FREEDOM, Sir. Not Iraqian Freedom.
BUSH: My poppy has another request. He’s a loyal guy. He takes really
good care of his men. All of you here were with him before. But my pop
sort of reminded me about this man. Is there any chance we could ask our
Republican friends to change the name of French, er, Freedom Fries to ….
… Dan Quayle’s Potatoe?